Query of logic
by Lloth87
Summary: Spock is tortured by a psychopath, then he is saved, and he meets a society which makes him query Vulcan logic. English is not my native language, so please, forgive my inproper phrasing. M because of torture and sex (not at the same time). Crtitc is warmly welcome. First fanfiction in my life. Enjoy. :)
1. Chapter 1

- What do we know about this planet, Mr. Spock? – Captain Kirk asked, as he watched the blue-green globe on the screen which the Enterprise was approaching.

- The planet is 'M' type, with oxygen-nitrogen atmosphere, the gravitation is equivalent like on Earth. Rich flora and fauna.

- Intelligent life? – asked the Captain.

- Yes, there are intelligent, humanoid creatures on the surface, but there aren't big cities, and industry. However, they aren't technically primitive, our sensors sign some energy source and radio-waves.

- Lieutant Uhura, open a greeting channel – Kirk said.

- Greeting channel is open – said Uhura a few seconds later.

- I am James Kirk, Captain of Starship Entersprise. Our mission is peaceful, and we would like to ask for your permission to teleport to your planet, and meet you – said the Captain, in front of the screen.

A moment later, the most beautiful man appeared on it whomever they have seen. His oval face was ageless, neither young nor old. He had long, black hair, white skin, and tipped ears, like Spock's, however, he obviously wasn't Vulcan. He wore a green silk shirt with elegant, purple embroidered motives on it. Wisdom and experience of many years was in his black eyes. His voice was soft but expressed.

- Please, receive the greetings of the Eldarine, Captain Kirk. I am Laurel. We would feel honoured, if you would visit us with your companions. I give you the coordinates of the place where we are waiting for you.

- Thank you, Laurel. We will be there in a few minutes.

- Mr Spock, Dr McCoy, let's go to the transporter. We will be the greeting delegation of Earth – and Vulcan, of course.

The two officer followed him, and a few minutes later, they stood in the teleport machine.

- Captain, is it wise to go down there so quickly? We don't know anything about thus race – Spock told.

- Don't be paranoid, Mr. Spock. We've transported in the middle of obvious trouble before many times. Why wouldn't we do it now, when it seems that we will have a warm welcome? – Kirk said. – Mr. Scott, energy! – Kirk ordered, and in a few seconds, they found themselves on the surface of the planet.

Laurel and some other Eldarines were waiting for them – with feser guns in their hand. The three human even barely realised that they arrived, and everything darkened.

* * *

Spock felt wet and cold which pulled him quickly from unconsciousness. As he opened his eyes, he saw a tall, lean man in front of him with red hair and with the same ageless face like Laurel's. However, this one was not so well-dressed, as he wore simple leather and wool clothes. He was holding a bucket in his hand, from which obviously he has just poured water into Spock's face.

In the second moment, the Vulcan realised that his arms and legs are chained to the wall, causing a dull but disturbing pain. He hasn't got his clothes either, which caused him to feel even more defenceless and humiliated, especially when he took notice about Laurel, who stood behind the man with the bucket, in his silk shirt.

- Well, obviously your first question will be 'Where am I', or 'What do you want from me' – said Laurel in a sarcastic voice. – My two short answers: you are in the cellar of my house, and I want nothing from you. At least, nothing which you could find rational. I just want you to suffer. I was always curious about how long a Vulcan can bear torture before totally going insane – his sneer was more than terrifying.

But Spock was not terrified. He looked into the Eldarine's eyes, and he could see the flame of sadism there. This man was a psychopath. No logical motivations or aims. The Vulcan realised that there is no escape. He cannot convince this man with rational reasons, because his only goal was to torture him dead. The only chance can be if he does not show emotions and pain, and maybe then, Laurel will get bored with his games. However, Spock did not know how long will he be able to keep his self control.

- Someone says that the hope is important – Laurel continued. – There must be hope for escape, and it's more terrible if the object of torture realises later that there is no release. I think in a different way. If you know from the beginning that you can exit from here only as a corpse, you will start to beg sooner for death. And believe me, it's a really funny thing if someone begs for death.

Spock's face was emotionless.

- Oh, I can see, you've already decided that you'll fight. Good, very good! I like to break strong-willed people to show them their own fallibility. But enough of speech for now. Let's start it! – he said like a child who has just got a new toy. – Dinoro, give him a clip.

The other Eldarine in the average clothes stepped forward and hit. He was stronger that he seemed. A creek of green blood flowed from Spock's mouth, but he didn't gave a voice. If he was like Kirk, he probably would tell to the Eldarine that he is too coward to do it himself, and therefore he uses his servant to do the "dirty job", but such comment would just anger Laurel and he would become more brutal, therefore it would be illogical.

- It'll be so much fun! – said his torturer. – Now, let's count his fingers!

Dinoro went to the metal table near the wall, and picked up a pliers from it. Spock just realised that there are different tools on the table – every of them is able to cause pain.

He sat his teeth and grunted when Dinoro broke his fingers on his left hand one by one, but he did not give the pleasure of crying out for Laurel.

- Awsome – the Eldarine said. – Let's see, how about blades.

* * *

Kirk and McCoy wake up in a cell. Their fesers and communicators were missing. The chamber had no window, only a door, made of stiff metal bars. Two of its walls were made of stone, but one is from glass through which they could see another room. It was made of stone also, but it was larger than their cell, and there were lamps on the wall, so they could see it clearly. Spock was chained to the wall, naked, bleeding from many wounds, and a read-head Eldarine obviously tortured him for the commands of Laurel.

- What the hell is he doing? – shouted Kirk, and sprang at the glass, but he couldn't break it. It was flexible and stiff at the same time; not average glass. He tried it again and again until his shoulder began to hurt.

- Jim, stop it! – McCoy told him. – You cannot break it.

- I have to try! I cannot watch as he tortures my friend!

- But you won't help him if you break your arm!

The captain flopped down and leaned his back to the wall desperately. He didn't want to watch it, but he couldn't take off his eyes from the wicked, sadistic face of Laurel.

* * *

He didn't know how long could he be there, chained to the wall. Hours or days could be spent; he totally lost his time sense. In the beginning, he could isolate his mind from his body, locking out pain, but finally, it found its way and brought him back to reality.

Laurel was obviously a great anatomist. He knew every sensitive point, and he could cause incredible pain without injuring him deadly. Spock sometimes almost lost his consciousness, but the Eldarine always ordered Dinoro to do something so painful which woke him up. The Vulcan felt that his willpower lessens quickly. At least, he didn't do anything unfixable yet – broken bones and torn down nails can be healed, just as cuts and burns. Once Spock heard some dull noise from the wall on his left, and maybe he heard the voice of the Captain shouting his name – first, he thought he was hallucinating, but Laurel didn't leave any doubt.

- Oh, have I mentioned that your friends can watch it? You can see only stone wall there, but for them, it's like a window. I just wanted them to know what they can expect. By the way, I have to tell, I'm truly amused. Humans can't bear even the half of this suffering. But, it was only introduction. Let's change a level. Dinoro, blind him.

The red-head grabbed a white hot stoker.

- Have you known that heat can blind someone from a few centimetres? He even doesn't have to touch your eyeballs with the stoker, only keep it close to them. Oh, but first of all, we have to remove your eyelids so you won't be able to close your eyes.

Dinoro put down the stoker, and pick up a scalpel instead. He slowly approached to Spock who tried to turn his head away, but the Eldarine tied it to the wall with a leather string. Spock moaned, but he couldn't do anything. The scalpel neared his eyes, but before Dinoro could cut, he halted in his move, and dropped to the ground. Laurel followed him, both of them obviously dead. Spock mistily saw several humans, in the red uniform of the Starfleet's security section, with fesers in their hand, rushing into the room. Two Eldarine followed them, a woman, and a man with weapons also.

- Oh, my god! – She said when she saw the Vulcan. She pulled off the keys of his chains from the dead Laurel's belt, and she started to open the locks. – Help me! – She told to the Eldarine man.

They carefully laid down Spock to the ground, and the woman covered him with her cloak.

- Search your Captain and the Doctor – she told to the humans. – They have to be here somewhere. And be careful, there can be left some of Laurel's batboys.

She softly caressed Spock's forehead. – It's ok now. You are in safe – she said in a tender voice.

The Vulcan allowed himself the luxury of felling unconscious.


	2. Chapter 2

In his dream, he was in the torture chamber again. The images were blurred but the pain was real, and he couldn't wake up. Then, he heard the soft voice of a woman, and he could see her face for a moment. She was blond and beautiful, with tipped ears and wise green eyes full of worry. He could feel that she was worrying for him. He slightly realised that she raised his head with her gentle hand, and poured some kind of liquid in his mouth, which had the taste of herbs. – Drink, it will help you to recover – her voice echoed in his mind. Then, he fall back to sleep, but this time, without nightmares.

* * *

Spock opened his eyes, and could see wooden ceiling high above. In the same moment, he felt incredibly thirsty. He was lying in a soft bed, and there was a night-table next to it with a glass and a porcelain jug. He automatically reached for it, and he cried out of pain. He just realised that his left arm was plastered.

The blond woman from his dreams stepped in the room – this time, she was totally real – in a light, long, blue silk dress.

- Wait, I help you – she told, and poured some water in the glass. She reached it for him. Spock leaned on his uninjured hand – sharp pain twitched in his fingers, it wasn't unharmed at all – and sat up with a groan. He grabbed the glass, and drank the water in no time. The woman refilled it.

- I believe you're terribly thirsty after sleeping three days – she said. – But you are over on the worst. Your body recovers amazingly quickly.

- Captain Kirk... – he asked immediately.

- He's well, such as Dr McCoy. They were very worried about you, so they'll be happy to see you awake.

- I suppose, I'm still on Tritan III – Spock said.

- Yes.

- And who are you?

- I'm Kyrian. And I'm really ashamed of that you met the worst of our kind at the first time. Laurel was evil and mad. He took notice of your starship before us, and he made a trap for you. He also tried to destroy your ship, with high power energy, but he failed, fortunately. However, it takes a few more days to repair it, as your chief engineer, Mr. Scott said.

- But who was this Laurel?

- He was one of the outcasts. They can't keep the rules of our society, because they have lust for power, or they are selfish, or psychopaths. However, we can't judge in life or death, so, we isolated them to another part of the planet, and we have the intrsuments to keep them there. But now, he was one too many for us this time. I am really sorry that you had to suffer from his ferociousness. As soon as we noticed what happened, we contacted the Enterprise.

- It's not your fault. Blaming yourself is illogical – Spock said.

Kyrian smiled, and a moment later, the Vulcan could hear the voice of Kirk and McCoy.

- Have I just heard the word 'illogical'? – McCoy asked. – This means that our annoying Vulcan survived again! Do you see, Jim? I told you that he's too stubborn to die!

- Willpower really can control the reactions of body, Doctor – Spock said in his usual 'scientific' voice – and it is quite important in such situation in which I was.

- Anyway, I'm glad to see you alive, Spock – Kirk said. – The Enterprise has been damaged, when Laurel started to shoot it with pure energy, and according to Mr Scott, it will take two or three days to repair the engines. Therefore, I allowed to the crew to visit this part of the planet – it is safe, as Kyrian told it for us. I advice for you also to take a look around, it's really beautiful, and interesting.

- And, I would like to invite all of you for a dinner tonight, to celebrate your visit – Kyrian told with a smile – and also the recovery of Mr. Spock. – When she turned to the Vulcan, her smile was even more kind.

- But I have 400 people on that starship – Kirk said.

- Don't worry, Captain! We have a huge hall for celebration, and also enough food for everyone. Fortunately, our planet is very rich in plants and animals. I can understand that after what happened, you don't want to leave the Enterprise unguarded however, I don't think that anyone else would try to destroy it. You can leave some of your people on board, and they can be changed after a few hours, so nobody will miss the the feast.

- It sounds logical, Captain – Spock said.

- Well, then I can't do anything but say thank you for your hospitality, Kyrian – Kirk said.

When McCoy and Kirk left, Spock woke up from the bed. His wounds hurt but it was tolerable. He just realised that he was wearing a comfortable linen trousers and a dark green shirt which was motive with golden piles. He found his boots next to the bed.

- It fits to you perfectly – Kyrian winked coquettishly.

Spock looked at her doubtingly, but he followed the woman. He could see the rest of the house now. Its back wall was natural rock, but the other sides were made of wood. The girders were artistically sculpted with floral motives, which were simple but beautiful. The rooms were separated with thick drapes and they had big windows which let in a lot of light. The furniture was made from wood also, and the colours of nature – green, brown, white – dominated. The whole home diffused grace and naturalness at the same time.

When they stepped outside, Spock stuck at for a moment. The scene in front of him was really impressing. The village was located in a long and narrow valley, surrounded with high and steep mountains, covered with green forest. Creeks deflected the blanket of forest, and in one point, a gorgeous waterfall pitched down into a little lake. Signs of agriculture seemed in the valley, and terraces were formed in the hillside here and there to provide more places for crops. On this side of the valley, where Spock stood, there were terraces also, but these gave place for the village itself: large wooden houses and 'streets' from white freestone. The levels were connected with white stairs.

The whole was so perfect, even Spock had to admit that it has effect on him. The valley emanated peace and harmony.

- This planet is infrequently habited, there are other villages and towns, but no big cities – Kyrian told. – The whole population can't be more than a million, including the outcasts, but fortunately, their number isn't so much.

- Earth is only twice as large as this planet, and it has billions of humans on it – Spock told.

- We had to fight with the problem of overpopulation in the past also. It was not as bad as Earth a few centuries ago, but it caused worries.

- And how could you deal with it?

- Some of us decided to die.

Spock halted in his step. – You mean they killed themselves to save your civilization from overpopulation?

- Actually, yes, but not in the manner you think. Our kind is immortal. We don't get old, and we don't have natural death. We can die because of murder, accident or disease, or we can choose to die. It's just like someone goes to sleep and never wakes up again. I think, you can imagine – if not understand - that immortality can be very tiring after a while.

Spock nodded. – And...how old are you? – He asked.

Kyrian laughed. – Isn't it an improper thing in your culture to ask a woman about her age?

- I'm just half human, and I grew up on the Vulcan. There, we don't care about such things, since we don't have emotions to feel offended.

- It's okay, don't take it seriously – the Eldarine smiled. – After a while, we don't really count our years, but I can be around 800, I think. You could say, I'm young among our kind, but this word has no meaning here. The oldest who I know is about 2500 years old. Usually, we can't bear immortality longer than 2000 years. One has to have a very serious aim to stay alive longer.

- I am really sorry, but I have to go and help with the preparing of the dinner – Kyrian apologized. – You can come with me, if you want, but you can join to your friends also. They know a lot already about our culture Dr McCoy barely left our library since he's here. Of course, you can use it too, or you can ask anybody, they'll answer for you happily.

- Thank you, I think I'll take a look around.

- Well, see you at the dinner then. Oh, and the captain told that you're vegetarian. Don't worry, we have very delicious meals made purely from vegetables – Kyrian said, and she hurried off.

* * *

Spock found Kirk and McCoy one level below, on a little square, sitting on elegantly sculpted wooden benches.

- Beautiful, isn't it? – asked the doctor.

- It's apparent that the place has an atmosphere which has a calming effect – answered the Vulcan.

- Oh, Spock, would it hurt you if you would say 'beautiful' one time? – McCoy rolled his eyes.

- 'Beautiful' is a subjective word. Therefore, it's not logical to apply it, because its meaning is different for each culture.

- Oh, please, stop it - said the doctor resignedly.

- One thing is true, for human eyes, this valley is wonderful... – Kirk connected in the conversation - ...and not only the valley – he said, turning his head after a slim, red-head Eldarine woman who has just walked in front of them.

- Their culture is quite strange. It seems to be primitive and modern at the same time. The know electricity, starships, they can focus energy, but meanwhile, they don't have industry – Spock stated.

- The answer is in their history – said McCoy. – In the past, they wandered the space just like us. And actually, they weren't so peaceful like now, they had even conquering plans, but it was eons ago. Then, they realised it's not the way they have to follow, and they created a sustainable society, which is close to nature, meanwhile, they kept those elements of technical development, which they need. However it isn't that stagnating society like on Omicron Ceti III, where the spores of that plant caused the settlers to forget the desire for development. Some Eldarine starships are exploring the space in the moment also, just like Enterprise, gathering new knowledge.

- Just like Vulcan – Spock remarked.

- But, fortunately, they have emotions – McCoy riposted.

- If they have, their society cannot be perfect. Emotions always cause the breaking of rules.

- It's not perfect – said another man's voice, and Spock saw the Eldarine with the black hair approaching them, who was there when he was saved. – I'm Beriq, nice to meet you, Mr. Spock – he slightly bowed in front of him. The Vulcan returned the movement.

- If our society was perfect, there weren't outcasts. Of course, not all of us want, or able to live by our rules. When we recognize such behaviour, we try to speak to the person first, and if we cannot convince him, he will be banished. They're so few in number that they can't be a threat for us. We can protect ourselves. Concerning emotions, we think that only the dark ones are dangerous. Selfishness, lust for power, jealousy. However, love, in every form, is necessary. It makes us happy. Happiness and logic are not opposites.

- But, if you are happy, you will do anything to maintain it. Even to break rules – Spock argued.

- Not necessarily. Such rules are needed which allow happiness and not interfere with it. If the members of the society are raised up among norms they feel right, usually they don't want to break them. If happiness means that you share with others what have you got, and others happiness means yours too, you don't want to hurt others. And, it can't happen that you don't have something, which others have, because everything is everyone's. If you ask for food or anything else from, me, I'll give it to you. Of course, it is necessary in this mentality that we don't need superfluous things. We need a home, food, and the company of others, that's all. Therefore, we are not jealous. Of course, this model can work only in such small society like ours, where everybody knows everybody, and we can trust each other. So, the key is the solidarity for each other, and to inculcate our norms in our children. Probably our visit in other galaxies helps us also, when we saw that other societies how don't work, so we could learn from their fault.

- So do you say, that there isn't exist such as jealousy or hunger for power among you? – Spock asked astonished.

- Of course, there is. But we can explain for our children in time that these are unwanted things. And if they grow up, and they still have these feelings, we isolate them. But there have never been so much of these decadents who we haven't been able to control. If the society denies these elements consistently, they can't break up the harmony. If the majority's philosophy is that you can't be happy if others aren't, you can restrain decadence. It has been working for thousands of years. But as I said, it can be realized only in a relatively small population. That's why you couldn't do it on Earth or Vulcan. Earth chosen the way of disharmony: they have every kind of feelings, someone can handle them, and someone not. Vulcan chosen getting under emotions, and only use pure logic. But logic sometimes is very cruel, at least in my opinion. We need positive emotions to soften it. If you live in society where your only aim is to follow the rules, you won't be happy. Rules shouldn't be the aims but the tools of a society.

- I can't argue with you, and I don't want it either. We have a totally different point of view and such subjective concepts as 'happiness' can't be the manner of dispute. I can see that your society works well, such as ours.

Beriq smiled. – You are a quite intelligent dispute partner, Mr. Spock. You don't want to convince me, and I don't want to convince you. If every being of the universe would be such tolerant, there wouldn't be any war. – He nodded. – I'm sorry I have to go to help in the Great Hall now.

- Where is your stubbornness, Spock? He just stated that your society is not as superior as you think! – Dr McCoy japed.

- They reached the same general norms as us, in a different way. This doesn't mean that Vulcan society would be less than theirs. However, both of us could solve those problems, which humans couldn't.

- So, doctor, we should be ashamed to meet with the second society which is superior to ours – Kirk laughed.

* * *

The Great Hall was really huge. It could host more than 1500 people. Tables were put together in long lines, and long benches served as seats. There were at least twenty kind of meals: soups, steaks, salads, fruits, and vegetarian food. Wine, beer and fruit juices stood in jugs on the tables. Eldarines were munificent hosts.

- Can I sit here? – asked a familiar voice from Spock, and as he turned in his seat, he saw the always smiling Kyrian.

She was even more beautiful – if it is possible – than in the morning, her curly, long, blond hair fall playfully on her shoulders. She wore a light-green dress which had no sleeves, and the skirt was slit on one side, just to show enough to draw attention to her perfectly shaped legs, without being vulgar. She had an elegant golden necklace, and she wore some make up, to emphasize her emerald green eyes. Spock had to admit that despite the subjectivity of beauty, she really looked gorgeous. He poked Kirk in the ribs, because the captain sat agape, staring at her.

- Of course, take a seat - He could smell her light flower scent as she sat down next to him. He tried not to take notice about his increased pulse rate, and he convinced himself that he can regulate his body if he wants. Obviously, he gave biological reaction for the closeness of an aesthetically satisfying woman, that's all.

- How do you like our little village? – she asked.

- It's wonderful – Dr McCoy answered keenly. – I've just wondered if I want to leave this planet at all – he laughed.

- Well, Doctor, you're not immortal – Kirk smiled. – You would drive poor Eldarines mad with your impatience.

- Don't start it also, like Spock – McCoy answered with a fake pique in his voice. All of them laughed, and even Spock allowed himself a short smirk.

- The _maegor_ will speech soon. He's the leader of our village, and he also has another very important role. He is responsible for writing down every happening of our life. We live forever, if we want to, but we can't remember everything what happened. That's why we knowingly write down our history, so the next generations will know our virtues and faults.

In this moment, the hall slowly went silent. A man stepped in with long, shiny, silver hair. His face was ageless and beautiful as other Eldarine's. He had a white robe with silver cloak and he wore a silver tiara which made his appearance solemn. He walked slowly near Kirk, where a seat was left empty for him. The _maegor_ bowed towards Kirk who stood up and returned the gesture.

- Captain Kirk, I'm _maegor_ Telinor. I'm very happy to meet you.

- It's honour for me that you welcomed me and my crew.

Telinor now turned to all of his audience.

- The Eldarine was always a curious race. We explore the universe with the goal of gathering as much knowledge, as we can. It is always nice to meet other peaceful adventurers. This day will be an accentuated one in our history, when we met another intelligent race with the same curiosity as we have. We warmly welcome all of you, and our planet will always be a place for you to take a rest in your long journeys. We offer our alliance for you, for humans, and Vulcans – he looked at Spock - however it's not an alliance in war, but in science. I'm sure both of us can learn many new things from each other. Now, take our food and drink to seal this alliance – he raised his cup as a greeting for everybody, than, he sat down.

- Well, let's celebrate! – Kyrian said, and poured some red wine in her cup. – Do you try it? – asked Spock.

- I don't drink alcohol – the Vulcan answered.

- As you wish – said the Eldarine a little disappointed. – But you don't know what you don't like until you haven't tried it.

- Do you see, Captain, that's what I use to say too – told McCoy.

- Alcohol dulls senses and logic – Spock answered.

- But not one cup of wine – Kyrian tried to convince him. – Actually, so little wine makes your reflexes quicker. It's a scientific fact.

- Maybe it's the effect in the case of Eldarines, but I don't know what would it do to a Vulcan body, and I even don't want to try it.

- Maybe it would release your non-existent emotions – the woman japed.

- In this case, I especially don't want to try it.

- It is ok, you don't have to – as she poured some fruit juice in his cup.

Soon, throbbing clamour of almost a thousand people's talking filled the Great Hall. Eldarines and humans formed smaller groups, and it seemed, that everybody have a good time. As they agreed before, in every two hours the guards on the Enterprise were changed, so everybody could participate in the celebration for a while.

Originally Spock planned to transport back to the starship and spend the night there, because he didn't think this feast could be enjoyable for him. However, Kyrian was a great debate partner, with always logical reasoning, and he realised, that he likes her company. They had discussed about the anomalies and virtues of societies, and an hour later, they already talked about biology of different life forms. The Eldarine seemed to be interested in everything. Spock decided to stay for one more day here, only because of the scientific value of these conversations.

After the dinner, some Eldarines brought instruments: harp, flute and violin, and they started to play music. They didn't have to wait much for the first dancers, and after that, couples changed each other on the empty space behind the table. Kyrian was called sometimes also, and at one such occasion, Spock remarked that he cannot understand how can so logical thinking, like Eldarine has, exist together with such unnecessary and illogical things like dance.

- Don't you believe that someone can be logical while enjoying life? – McCoy asked.

- There has to be some error in this formula – Spock answered. - I just haven't found it yet.

- Hopeless – the doctor said – you'll never admit that you adore them because they could realise logic and emotions in the same time, and it works.

- You're right, I would never admit.

Kyrian plopped back to her seat, exhausted but smiling. Spock's gaze unwillingly spent some time on her flushed cheeks. He had to admit himself, that beside he's a Vulcan and a scientist, he's a man also, and he couldn't disregard her beauty. It was a little bit uncomfortable, as he always tried to repress this aspect of his identity, but he decided simply ignore it, and he started and another conversation about geology. He was secretly amused that Kyrian is good in this also.

Later, the Vulcan got tired, as he hadn't completely recovered from his injuries. Kyrian accompanied him, and they walked back to the woman's house. Spock still was thinking that it would be the most logical if he would spend the night on the Enterprise, especially because of his evolved affection to Kyrian, which he wanted to dissolve, but he realised that he didn't want to go back to the ship. He convinced himself once again that he can handle his emotions, and he stayed.

* * *

- Don't you think that Spock is attracted to this woman? – McCoy asked later from Kirk. They were on the feast yet, wandering from one talking group to another.

- Well, it is obvious that she has an effect on him, but I think it is true for every humanoid man – the captain responded.

- I wonder if she could persuade him to show his emotions.

- I think Spock would run back to Enterprise instead – said Kirk with a chuckle. – He's so afraid of feelings.

- Well, he stayed here yet – McCoy stated with a smile.


	3. Chapter 3

Spock was dreaming again. He saw Kirk in Laurel's torture chamber, and the Eldarine was holding a white-hot knife in his hand. He approached the captain, and Spock felt that he could stop him, he could jump and hold him back, but he was paralysed, he couldn't move, and Laurel touched Kirk's bare chest with the hot metal...

He woke up for Kyrian shaking his shoulder, and calling his name. His heart was beating so hard that he could hear it's rhythm in his ears, and he was battling for breath.

- It's okay, it was just a dream, you're in safe – the woman calmed him, and she sat on the edge of the bed.

When Spock realised that she's right, he closed his eyes for a moment, and sighed.

- I think the things which happened yesterday affect me stronger than I thought – he said.

- What do you feel exactly? – She asked.

- Something paralyzing, which doesn't allow me to do what is logical.

- It's fear.

- But I don't want to fear. I have always been able to control my feelings.

- When you are awake, you can. But you can't command your subconscious. And emotions belong partly to that. However, if you try to analyze them consciously instead of restraining, you can solve this problem.

- I always thought I'm not capable to feel this.

- Obviously you can. But you shouldn't be frightened of it. Everybody has emotions, even if they don't confess it. And to control them properly, the first step is to discover them. So what is the exact object of your fear in your dream?

- I'm just afraid of fear itself – he said. – I'm afraid I can't take logical action when it would be the most needed. I cannot save my friends, for example.

- Ok, let's start here. Fear is in everyone. You were afraid from Laurel in the torture chamber, because he caused pain for you. You discovered that you are able to feel this emotion, and now you think it will affect your actions. You aren't afraid of death, or of scarifying yourself for others, but of not doing the right thing in a critical situation. Am I right?

- Yes, that's the truth.

- Then, the only thing you have to do is to accept that fear is your part, but you can control it as any other emotion. If you have to decide in an emergency situation, you will choose the most logical solution, I'm sure. You're not worried about death, so, as a matter of fact your fear doesn't have an object. And if you don't have anything to fear from, finally, you don't feel it.

- Brilliant logic – he smiled.

- I think this is the biggest compliment I can get from you – she answered. – Let me show you something. I know that Vulcans are able to the connection of two minds. Our kind can do the same. Please, let me present you my feelings.

Spock raised his eyebrows. – Why? – He asked.

- Because I want you to see that you can control your emotions without denying them.

- Denial is comfortable for me.

- Is it? – She asked incredulously. – You can be happy without feeling all the negative emotions, like fear or anger.

Spock hesitated. He was happy once in his life, and it felt very well. However, it was the effect of a kind of drug from a flower's spores. Could it be happen that he can feel the same while he keeps logic?

- Just try it – she said. – At least, it will be an interesting experience, if not more.

- Well...okay – he agreed finally.

Kyrian took his hands in hers, and she closed her eyes. Spock could feel the most perfect harmony in his life. He knew the woman's thoughts, at least which she allowed him to know, and they were very pure and positive. He could feel the joy of helping to another, the joy of loving someone, the joy of looking at something beautiful. He felt how is to enjoy life.

- _Do you see?_ – He heard her voice in his brain. – _This is how I feel usually._

- _And what about negative emotions?_ – He asked with his thoughts.

- _Of course, they are. But as I told, you can analyze your feelings logically. If I am sad or angry, I ask myself: why? What is the object of my hatred? Is it really worth to feel myself bad about it? Our emotions are different from humans, for example. They are not so intense. We can't love so afire like them, but we can't hate so much either. We are just in harmony with ourselves and others._

She slowly let his hands. The connection disappeared.

- How was it? – Kyrian asked.

- Interesting – said Spock, trying to use as neutral voice, as he could, but he felt that it didn't succeeded very well. He barely saw her face in the dark of the night, but he was sure that she was smiling.

* * *

- Scotty said that they can fix the engine for tomorrow, maybe – Kirk said next day. – Actually, I wish it would last a few more days. This is the first place during our journey where nobody wants to kill us, and the society is not in conflict with our basic values. But, we have to continue our expedition.

Spock nodded, but he didn't really listen to what the captain was saying. His thoughts were wandering around Kyrian and the last night. Maybe all of his attempts to ignore his emotions were unnecessary in his whole life? If selection can be made between feelings, and one could repress negative ones, and live through positive ones, why Vulcans didn't recognise it? If there can be happiness without hatred, then to live like that would have been the most logical step.

- Hey, Kirk calls Spock! – The captain waved his hand in front of the Vulcan's eyes.

- I'm sorry, I was just thinking.

- I can see. I wonder if totally accidentally you weren't just thinking about a nice, blond girl... – Kirk grinned.

Spock looked at him with his usual 'humans, you are so petty-minded' gaze.

- Captain, please, don't think I'm like you – he said.

- I never wanted you to be like me. It would be terrible. I couldn't put up with myself. I would always agree with myself. I need you to argue with me.

- And I happily fulfil your expectations.

Kirk laughed. – I have to speak with Uhura. I want to send a message to the Starfleet about this planet and its habitants.

* * *

Spock spent almost the whole day in the library, examining the history of Eldarine. He wanted to find something which could prove that the Vulcan way is the most logical. He was searching for errors in the formula, but he didn't find any. It seemed that since this race gave up its conquering attitude, and made harmony, nature and love for each other as main norms, there weren't any war or crisis in the society. Finally, he found that accepting this is the most logical action. Unlike humans, he could confess if he was wrong, and he didn't start to create illogical reasoning to prove his truth.

It was around eight o' clock in the evening when he stepped out to the street again. The sun went down already, but the two moons of the planet provided enough light to see.

- There you are! – Kyrian approached. – I thought you want to stay in the library for the whole night.

She wore a long white dress today, which left her shoulders bare as usual. It seemed glowing in the silver light.

- It wouldn't be wasted time – he said. – You have many and proper descriptions about your past.

- We always try to write down our history as detailed as we can. Are you tired?

- Not yet.

- I like to sit outside on nights like this. Would you join me?

- Of course.

They walked to Kyrian's house, where a little table and two chairs were waiting for them next to the entrance. Two jugs and cups were prepared already. Spock noticed to himself that the woman obviously expected that he will accept her offer. They sat down and Kyrian poured some wine for herself and fruit juice for Spock.

- Why have you decided to take part in this mission? – She asked.

- Because I'm curious – he answered.

- You know also that it's not enough. You could read the descriptions of explorers also to satisfy your curiosity.

Spock sighed. Why did he think that he can answer this question with such thin half-truth? She was far too clever to believe it.

- I'm half-human. I don't belong to Earth but not to Vulcan either. I could be a member of Vulcanian Scientific Academy, but at my consideration, they passed a remark on me about my 'disadvantage'. I decided that I don't want to be the part of such organisation which is chauvinist.

- So, you was aggrieved – Kyrian said.

- I just felt that this way of thinking conflicts my basic mentality. If they said this on my consideration, I would have never been equal member of the Academy.

- It seems that Vulcans think they are superior to humans.

- Well, yes, but it doesn't mean that we want to change or conquer them, because their society works mainly well, and they share our basic values: the toleration of other cultures, and the need for knowledge.

- Yes, these are important things. We have to let everybody to choose their way of life, even if we think it's not the best way. And we should let everybody to live through feelings, and decide if they like it or not. I'm sorry I really don't want to say that your society is wrong, but I think it's a mistake to sacrifice emotions on logic's altar. The world is not black and white.

- Actually, that's why I was in the library today. I wanted to find something which I can advance as an argument against you. But now I think that eliminating emotions maybe wasn't the best decision.

- Well, at least, you can change your opinion. Not everybody can do that. Some can stand to his opinion even if it's clear that he's not right.

Spock smirked. – Yes, humans are often like that.

Kyrian turned in her seat to face Spock. – And now, what will you do?

- How do you mean?

- You recognised that ignoring emotions isn't the most logical step. How will it change you?

- I don't know – he said. – Obviously, it will turn out when I'll be in such situation when I have to express my feelings.

- Isn't it such situation? – She asked in a deeper, seductive voice.

The silver light of the moons glowed on her cheeks. She tilted her head on one side, revealing her white neck. She was smiling, with expectancy in her eyes.

The Vulcan felt his pulse increasing and his stomach clutched. He didn't really know what to do. He drew to her it was obvious. But should he...and then, it just happen. He leaned over the table and kissed her. Her lips were warm and soft. Then, he backed away a little bit, and stared at her totally confused. A moment later, she kissed him back more intensively, raising her hand and stroking his nape.

Spock felt warm flooding his body, and another feeling arose in him: desire. Kyrian grabbed his hands, and stood up, pulling him with herself. She embraced him, caressing his back, and kissing his neck. He returned the embrace, and closed his eyes to enjoy her lips on his skin for a moment.

- It's the most illogical... – he started in tense voice, but she didn't allow him to finish the sentence as she kissed him again with passion.

- Shut up, Spock – she told in a soft voice.

At this point, he lost control over his body. It wasn't the aggressive lust of pon farr, but the desire to unite with her. He just wanted to feel her, kiss her, and touch her skin. They went in the house without breaking their cuddle. Spock sat on the bed, and Kyrian descended in his lap, in face of him. Soon they threw off their clothes, and just before the moment of pleasure, she wheezed in his ear:

- Please, let me feel what you feel.

Spock nodded, his eyes closed, and Kyrian grabbed his hands as she did last night. They connected mentally, feeling not only their own satisfaction, but the other's also. White light fired in his mind, and he cried out.

When their shivers subsided, he leaned back on the bed, and Kyrian lied next to him.

- Well, I think you don't have any problem with expressing your feelings – she told.

- Indeed – he answered, and kissed her forehead.

* * *

When he opened his eyes, he saw her curly, blond hair shining in the sunlight. She was embracing him as she slept. He stared at her beautiful face.

It was obviously the most illogical thing he did. He has to leave today, and he doesn't know if he will return anytime. Despite this, waking up next to her was the best feeling he has ever had. He stroked her hair, and she opened her eyes also, smiling.

- Good morning – she stretched which caused the blanket slip down a few centimetres, uncovering her shoulder. Spock gave a light kiss on it. – How do you feel? – Kyrian asked.

- What do you think? – He asked with a smile. – I've just had the best experience in my life.

- I hoped you'll say something like this.

In this moment, trenchant and hurried steps sounded at the door.

- Scotty said that... – Kirk halted in the entrance when he saw the Vulcan and the Eldarine lying in the bed, probably in fewer clothes than it would be seemly. His face fell, and he just stood there.

- I...I'm sorry, I just...just the door was open, and I...

Kyrian laughed, and Spock's face went green as it was the tally of blushing at Vulcans.

- Captain, discretion is valid at an opened door too.

Kirk said a vague 'I'm sorry' again then he turned, and went out, closing the door.

- It's not so ridiculous – Spock said.

- Yes, it was – a drop of tear fall from her eyes of laughing. – His face was very funny.

- Do you know how long will I hear this back from McCoy if he gets know it?

- Probably all of your life. But I trust in the captain's discretion.

- In the top of it, if it turns out for the crew that I have feelings, how could they accept my logical reasoning anymore? They could retort with it always.

- Don't be afraid. They won't respect you less because you have emotions. Logic is logic if you can love someone also. Come on let's find out what Scotty said. Probably that you have to leave.

Spock's face clouded over. – That's why I didn't want happiness. It doesn't last forever.

- It's a very bad reasoning – she said – if you don't want to try something good, because it will end. I'll be here, you can return anytime. I'll always love you, Spock.

- You can't say that.

- Yes, I can. I will always love you. I didn't say that I will love only you. I can't own you, and you can't own me. But if you visit me, I'll welcome you with the same feeling as I have now. It's the secret of avoiding jealousy. Don't expect from others that they will be only yours. But love can't run out. You have to continue your journey, but if you will think back on me, I hope, you will feel happy.

- It's sure – he smiled.

They took up their clothes, and stepped out to the street. Kirk was waiting for them, and he obviously still felt embarrassed.

- So, Scotty said – he cleared his throat – they finished the repairing, so we can leave, if we want... – he looked meaningfully on Spock.

- We have to continue our mission, Captain – Spock answered. – It's time to say goodbye to the Eldarines. - He looked at Kyrian, but she hid her emotions. She really could do that.

- Well, then, I tell to the _maegor_ that you're leaving – she said, and walked away.

Spock could see on Kirk's face that he's almost exploding from curiosity.

- Spock... – he started, but the Vulcan interrupted.

- I don't want to talk about this.

- Come on, Spock, you talked to me about pon farr...

- Because it was necessary. My personal life belongs to me. And I would appreciate if it would remain between us. Especially Dr McCoy shouldn't know it.

- Well, okay, I'll keep it for myself... – Kirk grinned – if you answer some questions.

Spock sighed. He expected that he can't make the captain's curiosity go away, but he wasn't angry. – Well, okay.

Later, Kirk, Spock and McCoy were ready to leave. The other members of the crew have already transported to the Enterprise, and only they left there to officially say goodbye.

- It was a pleasure to meet you – the _maegor_ said. – Our doors are always opened for you and your crew, Captain Kirk.

- Thank you for your hospitality – Kirk said.

Kyrian took Kirk's hand in hers, and looked in his eyes.

- I wish you good luck on your journey – she said. She told the same to McCoy, and finally, she stood in front of Spock. Maybe only Kirk noticed that she holds his hands a moment longer than theirs before.

- Good luck, Mr. Spock. _And don't forget what I said about love._ – The Vulcan could hear her last sentence in his mind.

Kirk opened his communicator. – Mr. Scott, energy! – He ordered, and they disappeared.


End file.
